Therapeutic parenting offers a proven, compassionate approach to supporting children who’ve experienced trauma. In this blog, we explore four core techniques—alongside real-life examples—that help children feel safe, understood, and emotionally secure. From the PACE model to co-regulation, discover how therapeutic parenting transforms lives.
Therapeutic Parenting and the Power of Safe, Predictable Care
Why Safety is More Than Physical
The Importance of Routine and Rhythm
- A gentle, consistent morning routine with clear expectations.
- Visual timetables and sensory-friendly clocks to aid time management.
- Transition warnings before moving between activities (e.g. “In five minutes, we’ll be getting ready for lunch”).
- A regular keyworker who provides check-ins at the same time each day.
Emotional Consistency Builds Attachment
- Regulate: Help the child feel emotionally safe through calm body language and tone.
- Relate: Show understanding and connection, even in the face of difficult behaviour.
- Reason: Once the child is calm and feeling safe, only then can guidance or boundaries be discussed.
Real-Life Examples of Safe and Predictable Therapeutic Parenting
When Predictability Meets Flexibility
The Long-Term Impact
- Reduced anxiety and aggression
- Improved emotional regulation
- Increased school attendance and learning engagement
- Stronger, more secure attachments
- Greater confidence and willingness to explore the world

PACE Therapeutic Parenting – Building Trust Through Connection
What is PACE in Therapeutic Parenting?
- Playfulness
- Acceptance
- Curiosity
- Empathy
Playfulness: Disarming Defence Through Joy
- Turning a frustrating moment (like putting on shoes) into a light game.
- Smiling gently while making eye contact to signal kindness.
- Using story-based role play to explore tough topics or emotions.
Acceptance: Separating the Child From the Behaviour
- It builds emotional resilience.
- It reduces the child’s need to test adults through extreme behaviour.
- It supports the development of self-worth and identity.
Curiosity: Exploring Without Judgement
- “I wonder if you felt scared when that happened.”
- “I noticed you seemed really quiet after your phone call. Can you help me understand that?”
Empathy: Meeting Emotion With Presence
- “That must have felt really lonely.”
- “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
- “I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
How PACE Therapeutic Parenting Works in Children’s Homes
- Respond to behaviour with emotional insight rather than consequence alone.
- Use consistent language and tone across the staff team.
- Reflect together on what a child’s behaviour may be communicating.
- Use PACE techniques during high-stress moments — bedtime, mealtimes, transitions.
Real-World Examples of PACE in Action
- Curiosity: “I wonder if something felt unfair about what happened?”
- Empathy: “It must be hard to feel like no one’s listening.”
- Acceptance: “It’s okay to feel angry.”
- Playfulness: Later, after repair, the carer lightens the mood with a shared joke or drawing session — restoring connection.
- “You don’t have to eat right now, but I’ll sit with you.”
- “I wonder if something’s feeling hard today?”
- “Would you like to help me stir the soup later?”
Why PACE Matters So Deeply in Therapeutic Parenting

Therapeutic Parenting and Emotion Coaching for Traumatised Children
Why Emotion Coaching Is Essential in Therapeutic Parenting
- That big emotions push people away.
- That expressing needs is dangerous.
- That being vulnerable leads to rejection or punishment.
- Help the child feel seen and validated.
- Offer safe language for big feelings.
- Teach calming techniques without shaming the child.
- Create long-term emotional resilience and trust.
The Steps of Emotion Coaching in Therapeutic Parenting
- Recognise the emotion – Noticing that something has changed in the child’s behaviour or energy.
- Connect before correcting – Focusing first on the child’s emotional state, not on discipline or logic.
- Name the emotion – Helping the child find words for what they’re feeling: “You seem really sad right now.”
- Validate the experience – Showing acceptance of the child’s inner world: “It’s okay to feel that way.”
- Guide supportively – Once calm, helping the child problem-solve or reflect: “Next time, how could we do this differently?”
Therapeutic Parenting Examples: Emotion Coaching in Action
The Long-Term Impact of Emotion Coaching in Therapeutic Parenting
- Build a vocabulary of emotions — learning the difference between frustration, sadness, shame, and fear.
- Feel safer expressing vulnerability — because they’ve experienced emotional safety.
- Develop coping tools — such as breathing techniques, self-soothing strategies, or help-seeking.
- Strengthen relationships — by experiencing adults who stay with them through big emotions instead of pushing them away.
Emotion Coaching and the PACE Connection
- Empathy to reflect and contain difficult feelings.
- Acceptance to honour the child’s inner world without judgement.
- Curiosity to explore what’s underneath the reaction.
- And when the time is right, Playfulness to reconnect and re-engage.

Therapeutic Parenting and Co-Regulation – Calming Chaos with Connection
Why Co-Regulation is the Foundation of Self-Regulation
- Sit at eye level with the child instead of towering over them.
- Breathe slowly and speak softly to influence the child’s nervous system.
- Stay close, even when the child pushes away, demonstrating emotional availability.
Co-Regulation in Practice: What Therapeutic Parenting Looks Like
- Holding a calm presence during a meltdown rather than sending the child away.
- Sitting quietly in the same room after a difficult event, showing the child they’re not alone.
- Using a calming tone and soft rhythm when a child becomes dysregulated: “I’m here. You’re safe. Breathe with me.”
- Gentle, non-verbal cues — like tapping a rhythm or offering a blanket — to support sensory regulation.
Real-Life Therapeutic Parenting Examples of Co-Regulation
The Neurological Impact of Co-Regulation
- Decrease the child’s overall stress reactivity.
- Strengthen pathways for emotional awareness.
- Improve long-term impulse control and behavioural regulation.
- Increase trust in adults and relational security.
How Therapeutic Parents Sustain Co-Regulation
- Regular reflective supervision to support carers’ emotional wellbeing.
- Training in trauma-informed care and nervous system regulation.
- Consistent team approaches so children receive unified responses.
- Personal coping strategies for carers (mindfulness, breaks, peer support).
Final Thoughts on Co-Regulation and Therapeutic Parenting

Therapeutic Parenting Examples
Example 1: From Destruction to Dialogue – Supporting Rage Through Connection
- A carer sat a few feet away, body relaxed, voice calm.
- Instead of scolding, the carer used curiosity: “I wonder if stopping something you enjoy feels really unfair?”
- When Tyler paused, the carer reflected: “It seems like your feelings got really big, really fast.”
- Later, when Tyler was calm, they co-created a calming box for future frustration moments.

Example 2: Withdrawal and Safety – Making Room for Silence
- Her keyworker knocked once and sat outside her door: “You don’t have to talk. I’ll be here in case you want to.”
- No force, no judgement, just presence.
- An hour later, Aaliyah opened the door and asked if they could make tea.
- During the activity, her carer asked with curiosity, “Sometimes group meals feel like a lot — do you think that’s what happened today?”

Example 3: Grief and Nighttime Anxiety – Using Therapeutic Rituals
- A carer responded with empathy and playfulness, saying: “Let’s build a bedtime bubble of safety — like the one your nan used to give you.”
- Together, they created a small “bedtime basket” with calming objects: a soft toy, a lavender pouch, and a family photo.
- Each night, they lit a small LED candle and told a short story — the same ritual, at the same time.

Why Real-World Therapeutic Parenting Examples Matter
- Emotionally available adults who stay close during hard moments.
- Co-regulation before correction.
- Acceptance of emotional experiences, no matter how messy.
Conclusion: How Therapeutic Parenting Builds Brighter Futures
Therapeutic parenting is more than a method — it’s a relationship-based, trauma-informed commitment to helping children feel safe, seen, and supported. Whether through co-regulation, the PACE model, or emotion coaching, therapeutic carers show up consistently, gently, and with deep emotional insight. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s healing — one connection at a time.
From real-world therapeutic parenting examples to powerful tools like PACE, this approach equips carers with everything they need to respond to trauma with compassion. For children in care, that compassion changes lives.
Further Support
Explore Welcare’s Therapeutic Care Services
Learn more about our trauma-informed residential care, emotional support programmes, and healing-centred routines.Refer a Child to Welcare
Start the process of placing a child or young person in a safe, therapeutic home.
Recommended External Resources
- PACE: A trauma-informed approach
NHS guide to using PACE with traumatised children. Therapeutic Parenting Resource Booklet (Adoption East Midlands)
PDF guide with therapeutic strategies and practical parenting advice.Therapeutic Parenting with PACE (DDP Network)
Core explanation of PACE and its role in trauma recovery.
Ready to Take the Next Step?
If you’re supporting a child in need of emotional safety, consistent care, and a nurturing home, Welcare is here to help. Whether you’re a social worker, parent, or professional, we invite you to:
Make a referral
Connect with our therapeutic team
Explore career paths in trauma-informed care
Together, we can build a future where every child feels safe enough to heal — and strong enough to thrive.
Got a question?
Frequently Asked Questions
What is therapeutic parenting?
- Emotional attunement
- Co-regulation
- Predictability
- Unconditional acceptance
What does the PACE model stand for in therapeutic parenting?
- Playfulness – Using lightness and humour to build connection.
- Acceptance – Accepting the child’s inner world, even when behaviour is challenging.
- Curiosity – Wondering aloud about what might be going on emotionally, without blame.
- Empathy – Validating the child’s feelings and responding with compassion.
Can therapeutic parenting be used by biological or adoptive parents?
Is therapeutic parenting effective in children’s homes?
- More stable placements
- Fewer behavioural crises
- Stronger attachments between children and carers
- Better emotional outcomes for the young people we support
How can I learn more or get training in therapeutic parenting?
- In-house training and CPD for team members
- Career development pathways in therapeutic care
- Free online resources and webinars